oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Pants are for mortals
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
