Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
