What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I want to fling myself into the sun
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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