She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
