Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
