If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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