are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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