Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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