it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
