did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
