Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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