At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
