I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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