ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I seem to have left my pride at pride
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
