they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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