we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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