i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My cat gives me a boner
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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