wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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