Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
