butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
