Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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