I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
