He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
