margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
