I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
