I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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