Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
