Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
