butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
