Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
