What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
