I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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