im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
