Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
