AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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