im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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