Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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