he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
All I want is dick and wine.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
