Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
