Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
even my farts smell like vagina
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I could fuck to npr.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
