Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
sex in a hospital.. check
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
