No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
