$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
