I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
