I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
