Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
