I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
