and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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