I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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