My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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