Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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